Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Le Reveal Sans Balloons & Cupcakes (I am so French.)

 Remember when I said I had so much less anxiety about this pregnancy than the last? It's still true. But barely. Apparently I can be thrown back into complete neurosis at any given time. I was pretty freaking cool, nearly cucumber-like, and then I started telling people at the 12-13 week mark and had to use the fetal doppler every 34 seconds because of the jinxing phenomenon.
Then things settled, my belly started popping, I started feeling cute and the day of the gender reveal arrived.

That evening was a clusterfuck. We got hit by torrential rains leaving J stuck on the highway in gridlock traffic. Knowing that there was basically no chance he'd make it, I called my sister and she hightailed it across the city. In addition to wanting an adult buddy, I also needed help with Henry who I'd already picked up from daycare so he could witness and fully grasp this momentous occasion. I was really glad my sister was able to be there. I am not my own emotional support. I rely on family, friends and strangers to fulfill that role in my life. Hence, this blog. Henry, while glad to see his aunt, insisted on lying on my chest, whimpering with his feet on either side of my belly while the ultrasound tech probed and prodded. The probing and prodding went on for what felt like forever. It really wasn't that long, just so markedly longer than with Henry's gender reveal. Moms of boys have had this experience: the tech swivels the probe around and there, between the legs, are giant floating balls and penis. It's the most obvious thing in the history of things that are obvious. This time, no balls. Also, no real cooperation on the part of the baby. Baby kept its legs crossed at the ankle and would spring up and down occasionally providing a momentary glimpse but nothing sustained. We kept getting flashes of nothing between the legs, then flashes of the infamous "three lines" and vacant space below but they were quick. The tech said she was fairly certain but needed her senior tech to confirm. The senior tech came in and was able to get a clearer shot very quickly. Ankles still crossed but there it was. Three lines. No balls.

It's a girl!

It's a girl? For real? Are you kidding? I wanted a girl, I want a girl but I was so completely thrown by the declaration. Tech said she was absolutely certain.  I walked out of there totally stunned despite the fact that all arrows had pointed in that direction from the time the ultrasound jelly hit my belly. I had tossed the pronoun "she" around in my head before this, looked at girls' clothing, but kinda didn't think it would happen.

So am I excited? Yes. I am. Do I completely believe it? No, not yet. I have the 20-week ultrasound coming up in mid-October and am absurdly anxious for a peek. I keep worrying that I'll give my heart to the idea of a girl and then be one of those people who is told they're having one gender and then delivers another. Seriously, I can't stop googling "wrong gender ultrasound." And, like googling "cancer" and "miscarriage," the interweb world is more than happy to share their stories of mistaken gender on ultrasounds. As are my mother and the housekeeper at my office. So I vacillate between happy and an emotionally-guarded nervous wreck combing the Internet for fetal vagina pics. They look like my fetus' vagina but still. BUT STILL. I just can't bedazzle one half of the nursery with glitter and flammable pink fabrics for another 3 weeks. You know, because that's what one does for female children. 

So that's where I am. 25% excited, 15% skeptical, 60% a ridiculous mess of nerves. 

As always, I invite and encourage your comments. HOWEVER, if you share a story about your cousin who had all three children's gender misindentified at an ultrasound, I will find you and kick you in the nutgina.*

*Nutgina - A common physical anomaly often misidentified on ultrasound as the wrong gender.


  1. Oh yay, fun!!! Either way, fun. :) But I don't blame you for waiting a few more weeks before you start bedazzling. Unbedazzling can be such a hassle, so you def don't want to have to do that...

    1. Yes, either way so much fun. So much happy. I wish I could just relax and wait or celebrate. But you're right, you can never really get all that glitter out of the carpet and the glue gets everywhere.

  2. Congratulations! I love having a girl. (I guess that's obvious, what mother would say "meh, my girl is ok..." haha) But I love so many aspects about having a daughter. I love that I can dress her in girly clothes AND boyish clothes. (Today, she's wearing a batman shirt with pink tights) I love the mother-daughter bond and I personally find changing girl diapers easy. There are other things too of course, but I'll stop now.

    So happy for you! Now stop googling... ;)

    1. Thanks! I know. Somebody take the internet away from me!

  3. Ahhhhh, I knew it!

    I remember feeling skeptical too, because the ABSENCE of something (especially when the bits are that little bitty in the first place) is so much less obvious than the presence of something. But, to reassure you, Molly's ultrasound had the telltale 3 lines, and yes, that's a good thing. I made them check every time I went because I was convinced at any moment she would grow a penis (because I wanted her to be a girl so badly). But she didn't. Still hasn't, in fact!

    I think people with those stories of mistaken genders are old... as in, older ultrasound equipment, or they happened years ago. With all the high tech stuff they have now (I swear last time they were like, "And here we see he's just beginning growth of his 14th eyelash..."), I think these things are pretty accurate.

    I'm not saying you should start the bedazzling... but at least buy the bedazzler.

    1. Still no penis, huh? That Molly must really be a girl, then.
      Ok, I'll buy the bedazzler and the extra glitter pack. I'll hold on to the receipt to the receipt juuuuuussssst in case. But I think me and #2 will be vajazzling together.

  4. There are two bloggers that I know that had quite a surprise when they gave birth because it was to a different gendered child! However, their stories are QUITE different than yours- for instance one was due to a blood test early on where it picked up the vanishing twin's characteristics.

    I would feel confident in buying the bedazzler. Don't forget bow headbands that will be bigger than your kid's head!