Thursday, July 25, 2013

2dp3dt. Ornery.

I now understand why those little old ladies with hunched shoulders and aching hips can be so crabby. Shuffling sucks. Nobody shuffles by choice except for the Chicago Bears (reference? anyone?). I shuffle down the sidewalk looking like I should be pushing a shopping cart and talking to myself. Some stupid 20-year-old punks (wow, crotchety!) snickered as I lumbered past them this afternoon. Note to self: you're a lot less hot when you drag your left leg behind you.

It has been a full four days since my last progesterone shot and I'm still in an absurd amount of pain. To the touch, my left ass cheek feels like someone implanted a large, hot, smooth river stone just beneath my skin. Physically, it feels like this crazy, spreading tightness is wrapping from the front of my hip to my SI joint, pressing against my nerves. I'm not sure if that made sense. Bottom line: it fucking hurts. Things that hurt: walking, sitting, lying down, climbing stairs, curbs, speed bumps, bikini underwear, pants. Today I wore pants for the first time since Saturday. It went better than expected. The only thing that seems to give me a bit of relief and mobility is - close your eyes if this is too sexy - taking my whole cheek in my hand and jiggling it to encourage blood flow. I should try twerking.

I know this will get better and probably sooner rather than later but it's another reminder of how much harder it is to get knocked up via IVF than through routine sexual intercourse. You might have an explosive allergic reaction to one of your zillion meds! Your ovaries might overstimulate! Your ovaries and Fallopian tubes could twist in on themselves! These things happen. Shit-tastic things happen to fertiles too, of course. One of my professors in grad school, presumably a normal fertile, lost 100% of her hair during pregnancy. I met her not long after she came back from maternity leave and assumed that she was a brave cancer survivor. Brave, yes. Cancer, no. We all get it one way or another. The creation of life is a messy event. I'm just feeling stuck in the painful, messy muck of it rather than the glittery miracle end of the stick. 

This is a slow two week wait.

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