It is 11:37 am, I was supposed to arrive at 10:45 with a partially full bladder. Now, nearly an hour later, my bladder is preposterously full. They're running late. At this point my day 3 transfer may turn into a day 5 transfer merely due to the office backlog.
Breathing. Not peeing on myself. The upside is that rather than getting myself all anxious about the health of the embryos and the actual transfer, I'm instead focusing on my bladder. I have a handy-dandy diazepam (sweet, sweet muscle relaxant) ready for the actual transfer. Lets hope that it doesn't have the effect of relaxing my bladder during the procedure. Although it would serve them right.
That didn't go as I had hoped. I know I am not the only woman to cry on the exam table during the required 20 minutes on my back. My eggs are, in technical terms, "meh." By today, they were supposed to have divided into 8 cells. Only 2 of the 5 made it to 6 cells. The doctor, not my usual, said that he would expect to see better quality embryos at my age. Me too. He also said this may explain why I haven't gotten pregnant. Regardless, he said these embryos gave me a "reasonable" shot at pregnancy. That's the bright side because until today my chances have been unreasonable.
I have not given up on this cycle but I am really, really sad. Sad for my future, the certain decline in quality of my eggs as I continue to (prematurely?) age.
Switching tunes, I need to try to be positive and encouraging to myself and my average embryos. I should probably sing.