Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Beta Three. Metaphor Addiction.

This embryo is incredibly consistent. From 199.3 to 367, another doubling time of just under 55 hours. Again, it's not the 48 hours my clinic would like to see but I'm still within the 48-72 hour zone. Enough math. I am satisfied. Clearly I wanted them to call with a beta number somewhere in the ballpark of a billion but I am happy to be steadily increasing. I have decided - with no science to back me up - that the consistency of my rising HCG levels is a positive sign.

A different nurse called me this time. She was less gloomy and far more encouraging. She assured me I was still "in the game."  That said, given that I didn't perfectly double, she asked me to come for a freaking fourth beta. I asked if I had to and she said "no." So, I'm not.  I think three betas gives them plenty of data to play with. These repeated blood tests are making me so anxiety ridden that I'm failing to rock the serene maternal glow that I had this past weekend. I want to get back there. That was awesome.

So, next step is an ultrasound next week. It will put me at 5 weeks 4 days. Part of me would like to wait for 6.5 weeks so that I could get a better sense of what was going on - heartbeat, measurement, etc. I don't know. I'm gun shy. Last time things looked good at my 5.5 week ultrasound (well, except for the horribly low betas and the excessive bleeding) and then shit fell apart at the 6.5 week ultrasound. Perhaps I'm trying to spare myself the roller coaster. Perhaps I should just accept that I'm already clearly on the ride.

(I am addicted to metaphors. And parentheses. There are far too many of both those things throughout this blog. But I like them and find them useful.)

IVF ladies, did you have your first ultrasound at 5.5 or 6.5 weeks? Just curious.

Lastly, I saw my therapist today. Yes, I go to a therapist. And an acupuncturist. And a RESOLVE group. And I have a blog. I also text and email my friends 40 times a day. It takes a motherfucking village. She talked to me about "graduating" to a normal OB. This was such as happy thing to talk about and made me feel so joyful. Life as a normal uterus would be wondeful.


  1. According to my RE the first day that they should be able to see everything is 5w6d so that was the date of my first u/s. I was warned that they may not see everything though (I think mainly the heartbeat) and that didn't mean anything bad, just that it was too early.

    Also, I think that not having the fourth beta is a great idea. You are pregnant and you don't need any more anxiety.

    1. At my 5w4d ultrasound last time I could see the gestational sac and yolk sac. No fetal pole until the following ultrasound (if I remember correctly). I think I'm going to call my nurse back and ask her what she recommends.

  2. Glad to see I'm not the only one addicted to parentheses. I get so self conscious about how much I use them, but I just can't stop.

    My first U/S was at 6w1d both times (or thereabouts) and both time we saw fetal pole and heartbeats. My clinic also does 4 betas, which is excessive and unnecessarily stressful.

    It does take a village, doesn't it? Sheesh.

  3. I clarified with the IVF nurse. She said they like to do the first ultrasound 3 weeks after transfer (so, 5.5 weeks) to confirm existence of a gestational sac and the following a week or so later to confirm heartbeat. Basically they just like to fuck with you a lot.

  4. My doc schedules ultra sounds at six weeks but we went in at six weeks four days so my husband could be there. They also had be do two betas and a third one week later. I hope the acupuncture relaxes you and you find ways to marinate in your glow