Omigod you guys! I was totally kidding when I said I wanted to avoid a D&C. You thought I was serious?! Hilarious.
Got my first HCG beta back and it's higher than my doctor would like to see. Dr. M, who had been a big champion of my miscarrying naturally and advised against a D&C due to the inherent risks, now more or less insists on a D&C tomorrow. Things have changed. He is concerned that my HCG levels suggest that I have abnormal tissue growth and have failed to completely miscarry. I anticipated the incomplete miscarriage part. It just hasn't been the blood bath I expected.
It's not like me to sign up for a medical procedure without researching until I feel that I could perform it myself in a dark alley. I really don't know much right now. Would I eventually miscarry completely on my own? I'm sure I would though "eventually" doesn't feel like a time frame I can work with. I don't know the risks of not doing the D&C, aside from the emotional fuckery. Right now I'm putting my faith in Dr. M. I really do trust that he's looking out for my best interest. Throughout my IUIs and IVF cycle, I've felt a driving need to exhaustively research every single possible answer for my infertility. I know an absurd amount about medications, various freakish disorders and complications not seen in the western world since 1978. I've diagnosed myself with all of them. At this point, I need to give up just a little bit and put my trust in the establishment that Blue Cross and I have been investing in so heavily. I'll learn more tomorrow and I'll write when I'm sobered up from the anesthesia.
I'm so sorry that you going to have to go through a D&C. Take care of yourself.
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