Omigod you guys! I was totally kidding when I said I wanted to avoid a D&C. You thought I was serious?! Hilarious.
Got my first HCG beta back and it's higher than my doctor would like to see. Dr. M, who had been a big champion of my miscarrying naturally and advised against a D&C due to the inherent risks, now more or less insists on a D&C tomorrow. Things have changed. He is concerned that my HCG levels suggest that I have abnormal tissue growth and have failed to completely miscarry. I anticipated the incomplete miscarriage part. It just hasn't been the blood bath I expected.
It's not like me to sign up for a medical procedure without researching until I feel that I could perform it myself in a dark alley. I really don't know much right now. Would I eventually miscarry completely on my own? I'm sure I would though "eventually" doesn't feel like a time frame I can work with. I don't know the risks of not doing the D&C, aside from the emotional fuckery. Right now I'm putting my faith in Dr. M. I really do trust that he's looking out for my best interest. Throughout my IUIs and IVF cycle, I've felt a driving need to exhaustively research every single possible answer for my infertility. I know an absurd amount about medications, various freakish disorders and complications not seen in the western world since 1978. I've diagnosed myself with all of them. At this point, I need to give up just a little bit and put my trust in the establishment that Blue Cross and I have been investing in so heavily. I'll learn more tomorrow and I'll write when I'm sobered up from the anesthesia.